Seishi for Loan!
by Sansele
Summary: Just an idea...What if all the seishi could be rented? *First Loan!*
1. Promoting

A/n: I do not own any seishi, tragically, so there is no way you can loan one from me! So don't call my house!  
  
Seiryuu & Suzaku Seishi for Loan/Rent!  
  
Seishi: How Tamahome and Sansele talked us into this we'll never know…  
  
(Tamahome and Sansele climb on chairs.)  
  
Sansele: To all you fans of the seishi of Fushigi Yuugi,  
  
Tamahome: And to all those simply dying for them,  
  
Sansele: We bring you this amazing offer:  
  
Both: Seiryuu and Suzaku Seishi for Rent!  
  
(Lots of grumbling from behind them.)  
  
Sansele (Turns): Face it; someone will do this, even if we don't…  
  
Tamahome: Ahem. Who do we have up for loaning, Sansele?  
  
Sansele: We have all the bishounen and ladies from Suzaku and Seiryuu sides…  
  
(Aside)  
  
Sansele: Tamahome, I'm not reading this part.  
  
Tamahome: Why?  
  
Sansele: Because it's not true.  
  
Tamahome: You have to say this. Then all the hentai fan-girls will come…  
  
(Turns back to fans)  
  
Tamahome: Do you require one who is intelligent and yet kawaii? Look no further.  
  
Sansele: We have Chiriko!  
  
(Chiriko is pushed out unceremoniously.)  
  
Chiriko: This is unfair…  
  
(After a few seconds of fan-girls fighting to get to him, someone pulls him back.)  
  
Sansele: Or do you wish for someone who truly understands classical music?  
  
Tamahome: We have Amiboshi!  
  
(Amiboshi steps out, and two yoyo-like things hit Sansele.)  
  
Sansele: Ow! Wait your turn, Suboshi!  
  
Suboshi: How dare you bully my aniki!  
  
(Fan-girls start screaming, Amiboshi moves back quickly.)  
  
Tamahome: Or do you want someone who can assist you with fashion?  
  
Sansele: There is Nuriko!  
  
(Nuriko moves out.)  
  
Nuriko: Hi! (Aside: Tamahome, Sansele, stop it before I punch you through the roof…)  
  
Both (Sweatdrops): Uh…  
  
(Nuriko walks back amidst catcalls)  
  
Sansele: Or do you require  
  
Tamahome: Someone  
  
Sansele: Hotter?  
  
(Fan-girls look interested.)  
  
Tamahome: Or perhaps someone:  
  
Sansele: Tamahome! I'm not reading this!  
  
Tamahome: Please, otherwise we won't loan anyone out…  
  
Tamahome: Or perhaps someone  
  
Sansele: …Sexier?  
  
(Fan-girls are edging closer to the chairs)  
  
Sansele: We have Tasuki!  
  
Tasuki: I am so going to *&*%^$# kill both of you…  
  
Tamahome: Chichiri!  
  
Chichiri: Daaaaa…  
  
Sansele: Nakago!  
  
Tamahome: He's not hot!  
  
(Fan-girls attempt to get to the bishounen. Nakago glares at Tamahome; Sansele gives a significant glance to Tamahome.)  
  
Tamahome: Oh. Well…Hotohori!  
  
Hotohori: Of course, of course…  
  
(By now, hentai fan-girls are fainting all over the place or screaming their lungs out.)  
  
Tamahome: And these are only the beginning!  
  
Sansele: Fourteen different seishi to choose from!  
  
Tamahome: Two Seiryuu for the price of one Suzaku!  
  
Sansele: For enquiries and auctions, call my house…  
  
Tamahome: Free whipped cream!  
  
(Other seishi stare at him.)  
  
Tamahome: Uh…  
  
Sansele: Oh, by the way, Tamahome, I decided that you weren't my business partner anymore, so I am going to loan you out as well!  
  
Tamahome: No!  
  
Sansele: Oh yes! (Pushes him off chair)  
  
Sansele: Oh, but these are not available. Suboshi, who Yui insists must stay with her, Tama…oh never mind about him, otherwise everyone else can be loaned! Hurry…limited seishi for a limited time!  
  
(All seishi run back to Sansele's house, while Sansele starts taking orders.) 


	2. Discussing

Miboshi: Sansele does not own Fushigi Yuugi.

Tasuki: Why is a &^%#*@ freak like that doing the disclaimers?

Sansele: One Seiryuu and one Suzaku seishi will be chosen each time to do the disclaimer and the end for each chapter, okay? And chapters are only uploaded after reviews...

Chichiri: Hint, hint, no da!

Sansele: How come you're here? It's Miboshi's turn for disclaimers...

Miboshi: Exactly. I'm so hurt.

Sansele: ~_~; Let's continue with the fic...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Next Day...

(All seishi and Sansele in room.)

Sansele: Okay...one thousand dollars...five hundred over applications for loans...

Tamahome: Please, oh please, share the money with me!!

(Miaka's eyes fill with tears.)

Miaka: Tamahome, you feel that I am not worthy of you! You prefer money! 

Tamahome: No, Miaka! I need money to care for you!

Miaka: Oh Tamahome!

Tamahome: Miaka!

Miaka: Tamahome!

Tamahome: Mia...

Tasuki: LEKKA SHINEN! 

Sansele: Thanks, Tasuki.

Tasuki: Heh, heh...

Nuriko: So who's being loaned out the most?

Sansele: Okay, we have applications for Tasuki, Chichiri, Nakago, Amiboshi, and Nuriko. Oh, and Yui?

Yui: (suspiciously) Yes?

Sansele: Do you think you can part with Suboshi for two hours?

Yui: No! My poor Suboshi, at the mercy of the evil hentai fan-girls! The horror, the anguish!

Suboshi: Oh Yui-sama, you care about me!

Sansele: Fine, fine. I suppose we will have to disappoint some girls. (Looks down list) You know that it's bad enough having this loaning thing, right?

(All seishi nod and look hopeful.)

Sansele: May you all be reminded that Tamahome also offered free whipped cream.

Seishi: NOOOOO!

(Attempts to kill Tamahome in many, many, different ways.)

Sansele: Oooh...there's an application for Tomo as well.

(Disbelievingly)  
Tamahome: No way.

Nakago: Him? 

Tasuki: Tomo the Homo?

Nuriko: The psycho?

Chiriko: The completely insane, horribly disfigured creature?

(Tomo bursts into tears.)

Sansele: In order to prove that people are sane...(takes out bottle and gives it to Tomo)

Tomo: What's this? (Looks at label) Make-up remover?

Sansele: Yes, Tomo. Go into the bathroom and wash your face with this. I'm tired of people insisting that you're just a freak.

Tomo: Okay...

(Tomo goes off)

Sansele: Oh, there are some people who were not asked for. Hmmm... Ashitaire, Miboshi, Mitsukake, Chiriko and... Soi?!

Soi: Never mind, I would only reserve my affections for Nakago anyway...

Chiriko: I can stay here and read your classical collection. I borrowed 'Sense and Sensibility' for a while, by the way.

Ashitaire: Excellent, old chap! Which reminds me, we must continue that debate on the works of Shakespeare.

Chiriko: Anytime, my friend, anytime.

Tasuki: Sansele?

Sansele: Yeah?

Chichiri: Do these people like yaoi, na no da?

Sansele: Oh! I didn't think of that...

Nuriko: Never mind, Sansele! I can have my beloved Hotohori!

(Nuriko glomps Hotohori.)

Hotohori: This is hardly appropriate behaviour...

Mitsukake: You know, Miaka, Tamahome, Yui and Suboshi have been rather quiet?

Sansele: True, true.

(All of them see Miaka and Tamahome's heads poking out from behind the couch, and Yui and Suboshi attempting to make out quietly.)

Sansele: Ahem!

(Still making out.)

Sansele: AHEM!

(All four look up angrily.)

Sansele: Can all of you at least go into the bedroom? It's very disturbing...

(The couples rush to the room in various states of undress.)

Chichiri: Mitsukake! You spoke, no da!

Mitsukake: Yes, I only speak on important occasions. Like when the rating of this fic is getting higher than it should be.

Sansele: Ah, then thanks very much. In return, I will ensure that there is at least one person who wants to loan you out!

Mitsukake: Okay...

(Tomo finally comes out from bathroom.)

Tomo: Here's your bottle, Sansele.

(All seishi catch sight of him.)

Tamahome: What?!

Chichiri: DAAAAA!

Tasuki: It can't be...

Hotohori: There is no possibility...

Soi: I knew not what I was up against...

Nuriko: He's a bishounen!

Tomo: Are they all insane, Sansele?

Sansele: Nah, merely driven nuts by your utter attractiveness.

Tomo: Oh.

Nuriko: Oh?! OH?! He's hot!

Sansele: Nuriko...

Nuriko: He's mine!

Sansele: He's a Seiryuu seishi!

Chichiri: Good point, no da.

Nuriko: But we have all been able to stay together for so long! Our relations are better!

Chichiri: Yet another good point, na no da.

(Nuriko chases a very frightened Tomo round the room, while all the others sweatdrop.)

Sansele: Well. Tasuki, Chichiri, Hotohori, see me afterwards. Your loaning times need to

be discussed, since they start tomorrow.

Tasuki: What the &^%$*#!

Chichiri: It's too soon, na no da!

Hotohori: TOMORROW? But I have an appointment at the hairdresser's!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sansele: Okay, Chiriko, it's the end. Read your script.

Chiriko: *Sigh.

Will Hotohori go for his hairdressing appointment or get loaned out?

Will Nuriko and Tomo fall passionately in love?

Will Tasuki and Chichiri get forced into a yaoi relationship by the hentai fan-girls?

Will there be fish and chips for lunch?

(Tama-neko: Miaow!)

Tune in for the next episode of 'Seishi for Loan'!

Sansele: Exactly! 

Chiriko: (to self) Why me?

Sansele: Because you're kawaii! 

(To fan-girls) Chiriko for two hours! Your homework and research done with no questions asked. 100% correct! Don't hesitate! Loan NOW!

Chiriko: Alas, alack. 


	3. Yaoi - 'Tis a Double-edged Sword

Nuriko: Sansele owns none of us and certainly not Fushigi Yuugi! She does own this plot though.

Tasuki: Plot? What plot?

(Nuriko bashes him into the nearby wall.)

Sansele: Thanks, I think.

Nuriko: Oh, and by the way, if you want to borrow the seishi, email Sansele if you wish to co-write what happens during the loan…

Sansele: But please don't if you wanted yaoi and lemon…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Two of that Day

Titled by Chiriko

'Yaoi – 'Tis an double-edged sword'

(Hotohori wants to go for a hairdressing appointment instead of being loaned out.)

Sansele: Well Hotohori, I suppose you will have to cancel it.

Hotohori: But my hair will lose its award-winning gleam!

Sansele: ~_~; Tell you what, if you postpone it, I'll get you a more expensive treatment, okay?

Hotohori: Treatment for split ends, maybe? I believe I have one strand here… so embarrassing…

Sansele: Sure, whatever. Chiriko, do me a favour and check on the computer how many applications we have at the moment.

Chiriko: It would be my pleasure.

(Tomo rushes in, followed by Nuriko.)

Tomo: Save me! Anyone! 

Nuriko: Come here! You're such a bishounen…

(All the rest sweatdrop.)

Chiriko: Err…Sansele, maybe you should come here…

Sansele: Let's see, what's the matter? There are three for you…oh, look, there's a really nice itinerary, I think you'll enjoy this one…for Ashitaire too…a few for Chichiri, he's getting popular, no da…oh no, what's this?

Chiriko: It's some sort of yaoi, I believe.

(Soi walks over and looks and screen.)

Soi: This sort of torture I would not wish on anybody, not even the guy who killed me. Hey, come here everyone!

(All the seishi come, with Nuriko dragging the finally caught Tomo.)

Sansele: Actually, we only needed Tasuki and Chichiri…

Tasuki: What's the *^%# matter? I was about to try flaming Obake-chan…

Sansele: We have two applications for the both of you. 

Nuriko: What's wrong with that? There are lots of applications like that.

Sansele: Basically, the people are going to lock you up in a room until you make out with each other.

Seishi: …

Chichiri: Our worst nightmares have come true, no da…

Tasuki: After reading one or two of those ^%#@* fics… 

Soi: Do you think this is too R-rated for Chiriko?

Sansele: Impossible, he knows what's happening behind that door. 

(Points to bedroom with Tamahome and Miaka, Yui and Suboshi…)

Ashitaire: One question first, my good friend. How come Tasuki and Chichiri are the most popular couple?

Chichiri: (frantically) But there's Miaka and Tamahome, na no da!

Sansele: Apparently not, Chichiri. In a survey, Tasuki and you were even more popular than that couple.

Soi: I suppose the answer's pretty easy, actually. They're both the only seishi to survive after the war, apart from Amiboshi.

Miboshi: True, come to think of it.

Hotohori: I suppose if you really want to look at it that way; they are also quite opposite.

Nuriko: One's all hot and fiery; the other's more calm and quiet.

Tasuki: Can you stop *&#%^%# discussing why I should *#&^%# be with Chichiri?!

Sansele: Well, in this case, Chichiri, Tasuki, do you want to make out?

Chichiri and Tasuki: NO!

Sansele: All right then, this application's out, as this one is…

Nuriko: (Unhappily) Does this mean that yaoi is bad?

Sansele: Actually, I guess it depends with the person, honestly. For example, I cannot tolerate Tasuki/Chichiri relationships, but you with other people, like Hotohori, I can live with.

Nuriko: Okay!

Hotohori: You really shouldn't have told Nuriko that…

Sansele: Also, Nuriko can actually act as a lady, so it isn't that bad, in my opinion. But that's only my opinion.

Chiriko: So I take it that one of the unwritten rules is that we don't loan out Tasuki and Chichiri together?

Tomo: Why not make the person sign an agreement instead? There should be people who like the two of them, but not in a yaoi way.

Nuriko: How would you know?

Tomo: Typing 'Fushigi Yuugi' into Google.com usually works. 

Chiriko: Tasuki, Chichiri, is the agreement idea acceptable to you?

Tasuki: Okay, I guess…

Chichiri: Alright, na no da.

Sansele: Then that's settled. By the way, Chichiri, we are still probably going to have to loan you out a lot more.  

Chichiri: It's okay, no da.

Sansele: There are also some people who want to buy seishi…hmm…should I succumb to temptation?

Seishi: NO!

Sansele: Just joking, just joking…heh, heh…(whispers) it depends…

Tamahome: But admittedly, it would such an excellent business deal…

Soi: You've just finished making out with Miaka. Has that addled your brain?

Tamahome: No…

Hotohori: That's debatable.

Chiriko: It's 11:00 p.m. now, Sansele. May I be excused to go to bed?

Sansele: Of course. Maybe we should all go now.

Tasuki: Ah…but I want to have a few cups of sake first…

Nuriko: The last time you said that, you came in at five a.m. and nearly killed yourself.

Miboshi: And I wondered what you were doing balancing on the balcony sill.

Tasuki: *&^$@$%… 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sansele: Ah well, everyone's gone to sleep. No one to do the end! Gomen; this chapter wasn't that funny. Just that I'm not Tasuki/Chichiri inclined. But Nuriko with anyone else…that depends. Do email if you want to co-write! 

At the moment, I'm sort of occupied; my friend gave me a disc with 'Mecha Hajikete Gattsu Tobashite' (you know, the THTC song) and I'm listening. A great many times. A very great many times. 


	4. First Loan: Ashitaire & Chiriko

Ashitaire: To the great disappointment of Sansele, she owns not Fushigi Yuugi. Or us for that matter, to our great relief.

Sansele: Wonderfully done, Ashitaire.

Ashitaire: The pleasure's all mine. Can I go back to bed now?

Sansele: Ah well, it is, after all, 3 a.m. Please do.

(Ashitaire leaves.) 

Sansele: By the way, today Ariadne McNee is loaning Chiriko and Ashitaire. For you other people who want to loan seishi and co-write a chapter, email me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Second Day…

At 6:00 a.m.…

(Nuriko, Chichiri, Tasuki and Soi come out of room.)

Chichiri: What's Sansele doing on the floor, no da?

Nuriko: Ah, she's fallen asleep at the computer. 

Soi: She's been listening to something. 

(Clicks on playlist, just as Nuriko turns the volume up.)

The strains of 'Mecha Hajikete Gattsu Tobashite' come out.

Chichiri: Daaaaa…

Tasuki: Damn, how &^$&# long has she been listening?

Soi: 150 times.

(Chichiri and Tasuki turn to each other, grin and high five.)

Chichiri: Someone really likes that song, no da!

Tasuki: Oh yeah, we have a fan!

(Nuriko and Soi turn to each other.)

Nuriko & Soi: Guys… (Shake heads)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 8:00a.m….

(Hotohori, Nakago, Tamahome, Miaka, Suboshi, Chiriko and Yui have woken up. Oh, and I finally decided to stop acting weird…)

Sansele: I think I'll go see the reviews. Oh, there's one dealing with the yaoi situation.

(All seishi, especially a certain pair, are looking really scared.)

Sansele: Oooh, Nuriko, you're paired with Hotohori…

Nuriko: Oh yeah!

Hotohori: Umm…

Sansele: And Tasuki.

Nuriko: (Considers) Hmm…Okay!

Tasuki: Me with the $^*&%@ okama?! No way!

(Nuriko is about to punch his guts out.)

Miaka: Oh, and it is said that Chichiri and Tasuki are a couple because they look cute together.

Sansele: Only one way to find out…

(Chichiri and Tasuki are about to run in opposite directions.)

Sansele: Chiriko, do the honours.

(Chiriko starts up Adobe Photoshop, takes a group picture of the Suzaku seishi with Chichiri and Tasuki close to each other, and then cuts out the rest. All seishi stare at the finished product. Sansele: What were you expecting? I like them too much to seriously torture them.)

Sansele: Well…

Nuriko: Don't quite know what to say…

Chichiri: Please, oh please don't say we look cute together, no da!

Soi: That depends…

Tasuki: You ^$#*@&!

(Yui and Miaka catch onto what we're doing.)

Miaka: And I thought that Nuriko was the only one who looked good in yaoi…

Yui: That comes from having too many bishounen in your seishi.

Hotohori: Oh look, they're standing together!

(All the other seishi move as fast as possible away from Chichiri and Tasuki.)

Chichiri and Tasuki: (Take one look at each other): NOOOOOOO!

Sansele: Okay, that's enough guys. Don't scare them; they still have to be loaned out later.

Chichiri: Not with yaoi fans, I hope, no da!

Sansele: No, no…(But Hikari Shadokijo, it has occurred to me they look very, very cute together! I still don't think they should be together, though…)

Tasuki: @%#*%*$ you hentai %$@&$&* person…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 9:10a.m….

Sansele: Where IS she? Chiriko and Ashitaire, your borrower is late. I believe she wanted you at 8:30… 

Tomo: Kaka! This could be a good OR bad thing, depending on what she plans do with you two…

Tasuki: You *&#@^# hentai freak! LEKKA SHINEN!

Sansele: One isn't quite sure whether that was necessary or not… 

Ashitaire: I hope she turns up soon, as I am quite anxious to be under certain illusions and to be able to mix with normal society. 

Chiriko: Quite. Tomo, maybe it would be best to put the illusion on Ashitaire now, ne? So as to allow him time to get used to his new looks. 

Sansele: And don't try any funny tricks on him, Tomo, or I will positively murder you.

Tomo: Okay, okay. (Glances warily at Tasuki) *Brings out shin and closes eyes for a moment* There. Done.

Soi: Well…I don't quite believe this. 

Nuriko: You made him into a bishounen, even though he does have glasses…

Yui: He looks intellectual…

Ashitaire: Really? (Looks in mirror) I do look quite good I must admit.

(All seishi sweatdrop.) 

Ariadne: *jumps out of nowhere* I'MMMMMM HEEEEERE! 

Seishi and Sansele: Ah! *Jumps* 

Ariadne: Come ON, you two! We haven't got all day! *Grabs Chiriko and Ashitaire by the wrist* If we hurry we can catch the 9:15 bus to Canada! 

Chiriko: A bus to Canada? What are you talking about, Ariadne-san? 

Ariadne: Hee, hee... I'm writing this, aren't I? So if I say there's a 9:15 bus to Canada that can get us to the library in 15 minutes, there is. ^_^ 

Ashitaire: Ah. *Adjusts glasses* You are finally using some of that infinite author power, eh? You never used much of it before and allowed characters to insult you, so why now? 

Ariadne: Erm...Less talk. More run. 

(The three of them run off.)

Nuriko: Sansele?

Sansele: Hmm?

Chichiri: How is it that you haven't used any of your power yet, no da?

Sansele: Oh, but I have. Why do you think you're here?

Tasuki: Okay…

(After a 15-minute bus ride, Ariadne and the two seishi stumble off the big blue bus clutching their heads) 

Ariadne: Ow. I tell you what: Ow. Next time I'm going to create author-power-type headrests. 

Chiriko: Ariadne-san? 

Ariadne: *eyes go starry* Hai, Chiriko? 

Chiriko: Am I your favourite character? 

Ariadne: HAI! *Hugs Chiriko* 

Chiriko: I...can't...breathe, Ariadne...san. 

Ariadne: Heh, heh…*lets go* Sorry. 

(They all walk up to a large restaurant with the words 'My Place' as the name) 

Chiriko: Ahem, Ariadne-san, when you said that we were having Pancakes at 'My Place', I imagined that you meant your home. 

Ashitaire: As did I. 

Ariadne: What, are you kidding?! If you ate anything_ I_ cooked, you'd be dead before we found out who the murderer of all those people was! 

Ashitaire: Whatever do you mean? 

Ariadne: No matter, never mind. Let's eat. 

(After being seated at a table over in the right hand side of the room by a smiling waitress and ordering three cups of orange juice and pancakes, they began to talk) 

Ariadne: HONESTLY! You would think that those waitresses weren't even people with the ' Hi, my name is Julie' and stuff! Don't they have last names?! 

Chiriko: *inches away* Ah, I believe, Ariadne-san, that it is a requirement of the restaurant in which they work. 

Ariadne: *grumbles* Stupid restaurant managers.... 

(After a hearty breakfast and a pleasant joke about politics courtesy of Ashitaire, they find themselves in a very large Library) 

Ashitaire: Is this an actual Library? What I mean is, did you create it, or does it naturally exist? 

Ariadne: Yup. It exists...somewhere. I think. Now go pick out a book you'd like to read. 

(After half an hour of searching and reading snippets of books, the three meet up at the front desk) 

Ariadne: What did you guys get? 

Chiriko: 'Shakespeare: Before the stage', A Biography on Shakespeare and his life before creating theatrical presentations. 

Ashitaire: Excellent choice, old chap. I got: 'The Art of Writing': A book all about famous authors of different times, the life of a writer and tips for writing my own book. You? 

Ariadne: 'The Murder of Rodger Ackroyd', a mystery novel by Agatha Christie. I plan to read it to you after dinner. 

Ashitaire: I say, Agatha Christie! Wasn't she one of the best mystery novelists that ever lived?

Ariadne: Exactly. 

(They check out the books) 

Ariadne: Now...(checks really cool watch) Now we have to get to the observatory! It's 10:30, and if we hurry we can get a half hour of looking at African Carvings in too before lunch. 

(Ariadne snaps her fingers and POOF! They are all at the observatory in that big room with the big telescope) 

Chiriko: *eyes widen slightly* Ariadne-san...why are you doing this for us? 

Ariadne: *smiles* It's because I like you, Chiriko. You too Ashitaire, when you're not ripping people to death. Besides, I want you to have a good time. Since I'm 'renting' you, I am responsible for your feelings during the time. 

(They explored the observatory for 45 minutes and then ended up back at the really big telescope.) 

Ariadne: *sigh* 

Ashitaire: What is it, Ariadne? 

Ariadne: Well, it's just that I've always wanted to learn about the stars, constellations and basically the heavens. But I never had the time. Well, I did last night, but I took the time to write up a list of helpful English to Japanese translations instead. 

Chiriko: Ariadne-san, maybe you should just rearrange your time more. I mean, choose certain days for certain activities. I know exactly what you mean: Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. 

Ashitaire: Yes, just create a schedule for yourself. 

Ariadne: Gee, thanks guys. *Giggle* Heh...I just sounded like a cheesy 80's show. 

Ashitaire: What? 

Ariadne: Erm...never mind. Oh, look at the time! We should be getting to that place with all of the Carvings. 

(A quick author-teleport later and they were all at a shop with carvings of all shapes, sizes and images. They browsed for a while, admiring the pieces of art. However, Ariadne soon noticed that Chiriko stayed and was only staring at a Chinese Phoenix carving.) 

Ariadne: *in gentle voice* Chiriko? 

Chiriko: ... 

Ariadne: Chiriko, are you all right? 

Chiriko: ...It's just that... 

Ariadne: Yes? 

Chiriko: I miss my home. Not the one I had before I became an active Suzaku Shichi Seishi, but...Konan, my world...It's so far away from where I am now. Now we are always being used for fanfics, and we barely get to be home anymore. 

Ariadne: Chiriko...I don't know what to say. But if it will make it any better, I will always write nice fics about you. 

Chiriko: Really? 

Ariadne: Really. 

Chiriko: I'm sorry Ariadne-san. I'm acting like a child. 

Ariadne: We all have to do that sometimes, Chiriko. 

Chiriko: *small smile* 

Ashitaire: *calling from across the room* Ariadne, it's almost lunchtime! 

Ariadne: Oh, my! Well, get going Chiriko. I'll meet you outside. 

(Ariadne met them outside in 5 minutes, where they author-ported to Kelsey's and had a very enjoyable lunch while they debated the works of Shakespeare. Then they author-ported to the 'Classical Piano' concert, where they all got hyped up when someone played 'In the Hall of the Mountain King', and then ported to the presentation of 'And Then There Were None' As they exited the room...) 

Ariadne: *tremble* AHHHHH! MURDERER!!! *Points at random person with bowler hat* 

Ashitaire: Ariadne, calm down! 

Ariadne: Calm down?! How can I calm down when there are murderers EVERYWHERE?!?! *pant* 

Chiriko: The original name for 'And Then There Were None' was actually 'Ten little Niggers', due to the amount of murders in the book. However the name was accused of being racist, so Agatha Christie turned the title into 'Ten Little Indians', which was not racist at the time. Later though, after Agatha died, the word 'Indians' referring to Aboriginals was racist, so they changed the name to: 'And Then There Were None'. 

Ariadne: *panting slows, and then stops and she walks on, normal again* 

Ashitaire: What did you do? 

Chiriko: Whenever I get scared I repeat facts in my head. It soothes me somewhat. It also seems to work for Ariadne-san too. 

Ashitaire: Ah. 

(After a lovely Dinner At Romeo's ((pasta is gooooood)) the trio arrived at Ariadne's very, very green house) 

Ashitaire: It certainly is...green. 

Ariadne: Don't laugh, I didn't choose the colour scheme. Get into a green recliner you two, Tare-kun you can take the one over there and Chiriko you can take the once with the wood arms. We're going to listen to the talking book 'Thirteen at Dinner', OK? Sound Good? 

Chiriko: *sweatdrop* Erm... Ariadne-san…is it the best idea to listen to another Murder Mystery after that...episode at McPherson's Theatre? 

Ariadne: Nonsense, I'll be fine! 

*Half way through the tape* 

Ariadne: So Chiriko, got any ideas? 

Chiriko: I have one, but I'm not so sure _how_ she would have done it... 

Ariadne: She? 

Chiriko: Of course. Threatened or desperate women make the best kind of murders. 

Ariadne: *hugs Chiriko* That's my Chiriko! So who do you think it is? 

Chiriko: Well...*whispers to her* 

Ariadne: *smiles* Good work, Chiriko! 

(After the rest of the talking book they all sat at a card table [Oooheehee... I could tell you funny stories about my experiences with card tables...acting is good] that Ariadne conjured up, and played Blind Threes, Crazy Eights, Cheat, Five Crowns and Black Jack.) 

Ariadne: *sweatdrop* Tare-kun...you're too good at cards. I've only won anything once and that was because the highest ace was my blind card! 

Ashitaire: Beginner's luck, I suppose. 

Chiriko: Ashitaire, you're just good. No wonder Nakago was so frustrated that day. Oh, look at the time! *points to clock* 

Ariadne: *gulps* Ah. It's midnight... time for you guys to go back to Sansele's place, OK? 

Both: Ok! Thank you, Ariadne! 

Ariadne: *Blush* Oh, Chiriko, wait! 

Chiriko: Hmmm? Yes, Ariadne-san? 

Ariadne: I got you this at the Carving place. *Hands him a parcel. * Open it when you get back, OK? 

Chiriko: Thank you Ariadne-san! And I will! 

Ariadne: *hugs them both* OK...one...two...*snaps fingers and they disappear* Three. *Sigh* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 11:50 p.m.…

(Nuriko, Soi, Chichiri and Sansele are sitting around waiting for Chiriko and Ashitaire to come back.)

Nuriko: How come they're not back yet? They've been out for really long…

Soi: Actually, about fourteen hours and fifty minutes.

Sansele: Soi, don't scare her any more. 

Soi: Sorry, but you remember the itinerary planned out for them? You think they would be able to come back early?

Chichiri: She's right, no da.

(Sansele yawns.)

Nuriko: Do you want to go to bed now? We can stay up for them.

Sansele: I can't, it was Tamahome's and my idea to loan seishi out in the first place. If something goes wrong…

Chichiri: I don't think so, Sansele, you did say Ariadne likes the two of them very much, no da.

Sansele: I suppose.

Soi: Do you hear something?

(All strain ears.)

Chichiri: It's coming from the ceiling, no da.

Nuriko: And it coming closer…

(In the next moment, three things happen. Ashitaire and Chiriko drop from the ceiling, Nuriko screams, and Soi faints. After all, it's not everyday that you get people falling from the sky. They might be really good in battle, but no one said the enemy came during peacetimes from on top.)

Ashitaire: I say, we're home already!

Chiriko: And I thought that it would take a longer time…

Sansele: So did you both enjoy yourselves?

Ashitaire: Yes, indeed we did. It was a day of rich Western culture; different entirely from the type we're so used to.

Nuriko: What's in that parcel, Chiriko?

Chiriko: Well, I'm not sure. Adriane-san gave it to me just before we left for home.

(All of them, including Soi, who has woken up, go over to the table. Nuriko then cuts the parcel paper carefully, and they see the contents.)

Chiriko: Oh, it's the Chinese phoenix that we saw at the Carvings location!

Nuriko: It's beautiful…

Soi: Not to mention so intricate…

Ashitaire: Looks a bit like Suzaku too.

Chichiri: Was that why she bought this carving for you, no da?

Chiriko: I do recall saying that it reminded me of Konan…I miss our home sometimes.

Sansele: Well, Chiriko, how about you go home for a few days? Maybe Nuriko will take you. 

Nuriko: I could do that.

Chiriko: Thank you, Sansele; it would be nice of you.

Sansele: Don't mention it.

Soi: I don't want to be picky, but…did we get nothing?

Sansele: Funny you should say that Soi, I found a beautiful Chinese painting of a dragon a few days ago…I was aiming to keep it for a special day.

Soi: Oh, thanks, Sansele!

Sansele: It's okay. Don't you think we should go to bed now?

Nuriko: Yes…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sansele: But before that…

Chichiri: 

When will the other seishi get loaned out, na no da?

Will Chiriko and Nuriko be able to return to Konan, or will something happen, no da? 

Will Tasuki fall in love with Chichiri or vice versa, no…SANSELE! 

Sansele: Err…Tune in for the next episode of 'Seishi for Loan!' Bye! 

(Runs off before Chichiri can kill her)

Afterwards…

Sansele: Okay, maybe I'm safe now…I don't get it, how come I'm so morbidly fascinated by yaoi? Never mind, anyway, read and review! 

(To fan-girls) Chichiri for a day! (Looks down list) Do I really have to tell you why he's so wonderful? Let's see…He's attractive… actually hot would be a better term to use…he's nice…actually he's kind, considerate, humble, understanding, friendly…(Continues with long list of Chichiri's good points. Sansele: Guess who my favourite seishi is?) Don't hesitate! Email me and loan NOW!


End file.
